Dead Souls

1) One fine morning, a lady goes to her supervisor at a workplace and says, “I need 3 days leave. My grandfather passed away.” The Supervisor lifts her head, “Oh no! You are not going to fool me with these stories and get some days’ leave! I would like to speak to your mother. Right now.”
The lady pulls out her cell phone and dials the number and is about to mouth a hello into the phone when the supervisor snatches the cell phone from her hand uttering, “I know all the tricks you and your mother may play. All for some leave! Let me talk to her directly.”
The supervisor gets on the call and barks something like “So I heard your father passed away?” Which is presumably confirmed by the mother.
The call ends. And the supervisor tells the lady as to why she requires 3 days leave? what is she going to do in three days anyway ? The grandfather has anyway died!


2) A colleague of mine lost his father all of a sudden few weeks back and had to fly urgently out of town. He reportedly requested for 20 days leave and was granted the leave. 10 days or so pass by when his manager/supervisor walks up to me one evening and starts off about how this colleague has not yet turned up at work, has gone on leave for a long time, so much work pending, blah blah blah....... I keep quiet and stare at him not knowing what to respond. When he goes on and on, it gets me all charged up and I retort "Well, he has not gone for a vacation. His dad died all of a sudden!” Our conversation ended then and there but it left a disgusting taste in me...


Both these unrelated incidents totally cheesed me off by this insensitive attitude of the Supervisor and the manager - at the workplace, which is in most cases like our second home given the amount of time we spend there. It definitely does not need extra intelligence to figure the sorrow, anguish, anger and frustration caused by the loss of a near and dear one. The least one can do is to be a good support for the person going through such a phase and ensure to be sensitive, kind and patient with him.
Does that call for much effort ?
The answer is quite simple: Yes. And we will go that extra yard if we care for the person from a humanitarian level.


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While I was in graduation college, a friend of mine lost her father to a heart attack in the morning. It jolted all of us who knew her and her family due to the suddenness with which it happened. We must have been around 18-19 years that time. I used to go to her place every day to be there with her, though honestly I was at a loss for words whenever I met her that time. Words are such poor comforters in times of death. I mean, what can you say to make the other person feel better, happy and cheerful ? Absolutely nothing.

So we would spend afternoons together at her place in a very quiet way, trying to read the newspapers, staring at the walls, listening to the visitors and guests go on about her 'plight', taking her dog for walks etc.

On one such afternoon, she was in a particularly emotional mood when by way of consolation and for want of not knowing anything else to say, I said something like "I understand". She immediately replied, "No, you don't. You just do not realise what it is to lose a parent. So dont say that".



Does one always understand the depth of emotions only when he/she has been through a similar experience ?
What about the quality of empathy ? Which comes if we open up our minds and listen ? Does n’t all this constitute the emotional quotient of a person ?



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Dictionary.com describes 'empathy' as follows :

–noun 1. the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

2. the imaginative ascribing to an object, as a natural object or work of art, feelings or attitudes present in oneself: By means of empathy, a great painting becomes a mirror of the self.



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“We may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all—the apathy of human beings.” - Helen Keller

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