one hundred percent ramblings

This has to be one of my worst days ever…..feeling like I am at the bottom of a ravine and its pitch dark…..
The feeling of emptiness - Its so abstract, so devoid of description yet something so relate-able deep within….
A thousand thoughts come hammering at me and yet sanity, logic and perspective are engaged in a duel to retain the upper hand.
Does mere hard work bring one success ? Of course with the old fashioned accompaniments of sincerity, and integrity ?
And then it would be sincerity to what ? Whose integrity ? And for what purpose ?
Besides these, would other things count ? The art of careful dodging, skillful manipulation, slimy wheeldealing, weaving elaborate webs of cunning schemes, twisting words et al….
In such an event, I don’t want that kind of success.
I would rather be unsuccessful in the eyes of the world. And continue being successful on my terms and honest with myself.
I cherish my integrity, beyond anything else
And frankly, I care a damn, at the end of it. I have closed the door and moved on, enriched by the experience.
And this elevating thought is exactly what will kick me out of the ravine I find myself in!